Last time on The Real Writers, Mindy, roommate number 7 who only talks in rhyme showed up. Then the show got really boring and nothing actually happened, either a result of Johanna's conspiracy to make the show suck...or the fact that well...watching writers write is kind of boring. Then Luke and Corinne went into the confessional (yes together) and Corinne made a shocking discovery! One of the roommates secretly writes Twilight fan fiction.
This is the true story...of 7 writers....picked to live in a house...and write together and have their lives taped...to find out what happens when writers stop procrastinating...and start to write...The Real Writers!
Confessional (the next morning):
Corinne: I barely slept last night. I mean the idea that I'm living in a house with a Twihard...a fan fiction writing Twihard....it's disturbing, and unnatural and way scarier than any of the stuff I put in my novels. Let me tell you, that's some scary sh*t! I don't know if I'll ever be able to sleep again.
Luke: I uh...thought...uh...that...you didn't sleep...because...uh...well...because...we....
Corinne: LUKE! STFU! I'm trying to make a point. You don't always have to be so literal. Satan!
Luke: Did you just take the devil's name in vain?
Corinne: What you got a problem with that?
Corinne: Come Luke! We've got a fan writer to catch!
Meanwhile in the kitchen...
Mindy: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day
Gina: Hey you know, that's what I always say.
Mindy: Oh wow! How neat! You finished my rhyme!
Gina: BFFs do that sort of thing all of the time!
Corinne: WTF is going on here!
Sam: BAM! Scuse me ladies, just here for my Special K if you know what I mean and then it's back to the computer lab. I'm writing 10 more flash fictions before noon. Just like that! BAM! Move on out, Sam BAM's on his way!
Mindy: That boy really moves much to fast.
Gina: And you know its the hare who comes in last.
Corinne: STOP finishing each other's rhymes! It's creepy. One rhymer was creepy, but two is creeping the creep out of me and I've already had enough creepy for one night.
Corinne: Not you!!!! The other creepy thing!
Gina: OMG! Like what kind of creepy things? Creepy crawling spider things? Or creepy stalker but in a romantic way kind of things? Because in my book, Midnight, Bianca's vampire boyfriend watches her nap, but napping isn't really like sleeping. Because you nap in the daytime, so it's not really creepy. But if it was at nighttime...then it's a little creepy and stalkerish. But Bianca's boyfriend just can't help himself. He's questioning the meaning of life! Do your characters do that? Do horror novels pose such questions?
Corinne: (growls) I think I liked you better rhyming. (She waves the piece of paper around) Anyway I found this! It's a Twilight fan fiction...aka a piece of phony sh*t for a story that castrates the vampire and his mythology. And Gina...I think it belongs to you!
Gina: OMG, ROOM-IE!!!! You thought you got to read a piece of my WIP? I wouldn't leave it lying around. (Clutches her heart) It's my baby! My heart and soul! But my book is called Midnight...that's later than...
Corinne: Twilight! I know!! Did you write this?
Gina: No, you silly willy billy. I wrote Midnight.
Corinne: Are you sure? Because I swear if you are messing with me I will take this straight to the producers and they will have you off the show so fast you won't have time to tweet about it. Capiche! This show is for real writers. Not fan fiction people!
Johanna: HEAR HEAR! Real Writers WRITE! You hear that, Producers! Suck it! (returns to her computer)
Corinne: Gina, for the last time, did you write the fan fiction?
Gina: I already told you, Corinne. Maybe you need to lie down. Are your characters keeping you up all night talking? Mine do all the time, all they do is talk, talk, talk...Did you get any sleep last night?
Mindy: Early to bed, early to rise
Corinne: If you finish that rhyme I will gouge out your eyes.
Corinne: WTF are you all staring at? (Grabs Luke) Come on, we're not done questioning. I'm getting to the bottom of this! I won't live under these conditions!
To be continued...